Me So Confused
January 14, 2007, 3:21 am
Filed under: Ramblings


The first time I watched the Graduate(and the only time), I couldn’t understand the confused and scared look on Dustin Hoffman’s face. In essence, the first scene shows him wandering around a dinner party with no clue. People barrage him with questions as to what his plans are for the future. However, the blank look remains and he seems to bask in indecision. I sort of feel for him now. While, I’m excited for the future, the life plans I’ve made don’t seem to have materialized.

As a graduate, I find that the end of the future chapters of my life are completely indefinite. As high schoolers, we ate mom and dad’s food anticipating times where we could pull all-nighters partying and finally getting some respect. As college freshman, we dreamed of being older and being the older ones. As graduating seniors, we were just tired of the papers and the busy work. We dreamed of a day where we put in our 9 to 5 and come home to relax. We dreamed of money and women for those of us who don’t have them, children for those of us who don’t have those. Finishing my last final, no true metamorphosis took place. My room still smelled of the dirty laundry that I failed to clean the entire semester. Textbooks and binders didn’t magically disappear leaving money and gadgets in their place. Nothing really changed.

A month later and five pounds less, I miss the classes and the professors. I miss the frustrations of the college administration and the all-nighters. I miss the defined ends to my chapters. However, there is hope for my future. Why? Because its coming with or without me. I can coast and sit or jump up and run. Time no longer defines me, but my experiences and acquaintances will shape my life from now on. While I figure that out, I’ll probably have that “Graduate” look for the meantime.

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