Marriage Virus
April 25, 2009, 7:47 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

marriagebiohazardNot quite sure what’s going on, but lately I’m feeling like a character on Stephen King’s “The Stand.” Obscure reference, I know, but it’s actually quite fitting.  For those of you that don’t remember this little Made-For-TV nugget, with the likes of Rob Lowe, Gary Sinise, and Molly Ringwald, it essentially played out a scenario where the world dies of from a disease released at a US Army base.  The bulk of the world dies off save a few that are immune to the disease and are left to assemble their remains from the wreckage of human kind.  Lately, the disease appears to be marriage, and I don’t have a fever.

Now if you know anything of my medical history, you would think my name would be on that list of people likely to fall victim to some random disease.  Not so, in this case, I find myself singularly immune from this virus that spreads through lip contact, hand holding, and sweet nothings.  Seriously, folks, marriage is in the water and everyone seems to be drinking.  These last few months I’ve watched as friend after friend fall victim to this name that appears to be no respector of myself or my merry band of singletons.  This epidemic was further demonstrated to me as a friend and I looked over some of her pictures on facebook.  One of those group shots that only invite a tagging frenzy of friends past, found the bottom of the picture listing the very names of people who have fallen victim to cupid’s arrow.  Not a girl to set me up with, because they all be married.

Wouldn’t it be nice if marriage was kind of like the chicken pox.  You know, where you haven’t gotten it yet so your mom takes you over to a neighbor kids house to play who does have it.  That really should be the new singles program to solve the problem known as single.  When your friend gets engaged you need to jump in the car and make tracks to their house.  Hang with them a bit, and hopefully something will catch.  Just to be sure, I mean you don’t want to take chances with not catching this thing, you should eat off their plate or maybe drink out of their glass.  While they might get upset, you can always resolve their concern by reminding them that this is for a good cause.

However, you’re likely to have no such luck.  Your engaged crew seems to quarantine themselves in a bubble of love, plans, and puppy dog kisses.  Getting alone time with one of these is difficult, and thus the disease remains contained for the most part.

Sounds like a bitter post, but its not.  It’s just kind of funny.

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You can come hang out with us whenever. Remember, we are trying to get you in our ward!

Comment by Lex

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