Things You Should Know From End of the World Movies
July 13, 2009, 5:10 am
Filed under: Rambling

So, it’s late on a Sunday night and I’m watching a made-for-tv movie.  That’s probably my first mistake right there, but I’m finding some funny truisms.

Beautiful people are safe.   If you are a beautiful person, some how, despite all odds, you’ll survive  You may be delta force commando, but if you ugly, you dead.

Bus Drivers have a short life span.  If you’re a bus driver and the world is coming to an end…call in sick.  You’re not gonna save the world from your bus seat, and you’re only purpose is to provide that 3 second camera shot with your face all twisted and eyeballs popping as a whirlwind, comet, or tidal wave comes hurtling at you.

Lame pickup lines work.  For whatever reason, perfectly smart and beautiful women will succomb to the dumbest of pickup lines if the end of the world is imminent.

No points for being first.  If you’re the first guy to figure out the world is coming to an end, you’re end is coming too.  Somehow the guy/gal who figures it out first, always is rushing to tell someone who can do something and gets hit, smacked, crushed, or choked by an angry goldfish before they can pass one their vital information.

New York and DC bite the dust.  For those of you that live in New York and DC, you’re likely to get hit by a meteor or a flood.  Well, you only get hit if you life in Manhattan or anywhere near the Washington Monument.

Got any more?

I’m sorry, normal’s on backorder
May 16, 2008, 6:33 am
Filed under: Rambling

It’s late and I probably should go to bed, bit had some thoughts to get out. Lately, I’ve had a lot of conversations around dating and finding the right match. I believe most of us are approaching dating like ordering from a mail order catalog. However, when you go to call in your catalog request I’m sorry to say you’ll be informed by an indian guy named johnny that your normal girlfriend/boyfriend is on backorder. This may be kind of a negative comment. But the normal people are gone folks. Vanilla is sold out, so pick another flavor. The vanilla people as I call them, got picked off the shelf in our early 20s. Now if this offends you, blame the late hour. The point, looking for someone in the church that made it to this point with that valued life skill called being single is bound to have some eccentricities, said the 26 year old, call of duty playing, living with their parents guy. We may not find normal, but normal’s boring anyway. Look at all the comedy shows. All of them seem to have reached normalcy, and they are boring (I thought about spelling it out for emphasis, but that’s just cheesy writing). So dating the unnorm as I call ourselves(makes me think of the undead) may be what makes life interesting. Some dates I’ve been on with other unnorms like myself has produced at a minimum some very funny stories with great results. And by results I don’t mean the lip pressing kind. More like the, wow, I mean wow…w-o-w