Y’All Should Move
November 5, 2008, 11:12 pm
Filed under: Ramblings | Tags: ,
Get Goin'!

Get Goin

Ladies and Gents, the votes are in and we woke up this morning with a new President-elect.  For better or for worse, he’s who we’ve got.  I won’t say at the moment who I voted for or why I voted the way I did.  However, I will say, I’ve heard a whole lot of Repubs threatening to move to all sorts of places because of the would-be socialist agenda of our President-elect.  When I’ve asked for examples, universally, people have named universal health care as an example.  Just a couple thoughts to keep in mind.

Go ahead and…

Move to Canada, it’s not like they don’t have a socialist system in place for Health care, the very one that you find so unappealing.  They’ve got such a stable government that supports a conservative agenda like the one the Repubs profess to believe, right?

Move to Japan, they’ve got the best sushi around.  And their education system is top notch, so you should hit that up.  Oops, they’ve got universal health care

Move to England, they’ve got a completely different system of government that may appeal to you more.  Pal around with Prince Harry, nice enough guy.  They do have that universal-like health care system, so you’ll have to figure out how to get around that.  But you know, they’ve never been known for great dental work so what’s the difference.

Move to Mexico, they’ve got the best Taco’s in the world.  If you don’t try Horchata or a bowl of Mole, you haven’t really lived.  Just make sure you don’t get sick, because they’ve got themselves a goal for Universal Health care by 2011.

Uh, I’m really trying to find a place for you all that want to escape the Swath of Socialism in government as its been put.  However, every place I wikipedia seems to indicate the major countries of the world seem to have adopted a Universal Health care system.  So, if that’s your big concern, I don’t quite know what to tell you.  However, if you got the cash, you can take the Cosmonaut express up to space.  And I know for a fact that there isn’t any Universal Health care or socialist agenda in the International Space Station.  However, if Boris is up there with you, he may tell you all about his mother country’s Universal Health care.

All I’m saying is that for all of you that fear socialist agendas, like Universal Health care, for worse or for better, most countries have already adopted them.  Personally, I don’t want a universal health care system, but the one we’ve got seems to be pretty unique in the first place.  So go ahead and move if you don’t like it here, but all I can say is I tried to help.  Looked all over, where I could find a standard of living equivalent to here.

I wish you the best of luck and I can recommend the Backpacks at http://www.REI.com, they’re the best!

If you don’t like it, let’s get Mitt’s 2012 campaign going, I’m there with ya!

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I Hate It When People Can’t Hold Their Politics
October 3, 2008, 3:23 am
Filed under: Politics, Ramblings | Tags: ,
Im Your Contrasting Opinion

I'm Your Contrasting Opinion

Let’s get it on!  This is the second time in the last eight years where I have found myself supporting a candidate opposite of my own party.  This is the second time in two years that I have found myself underwhelmed by the mediocrity of debate and discussion of core topics so important to America.  This is the second time that members of my own party and let alone my own faith have shied away from debate and went straight to making it personal.

Politics stems back to the Greeks and the senate of Rome.  The philosophers of these times enjoyed the exploration of thought and debate.  For in the debate and the discussion, only then could one truly discover his/her opinions.  The nastiness of the debate between candidates has really soured my opinion of both individuals.  Furthermore, the greater nastiness of one candidate has truly soured me to this individual overall.  What truly saddens me is the inability of some of peers to refrain from practicing the very same nastiness and making personal the debate.

For those who choose to make it personal, they’re taking the easy way out in the debate.  To call names or make personal references to the validity or the intelligence of believing one way or another shows the narrow thinking of the accusatory individual.  If we are unable to discuss our thoughts and opinions from a calm and reasonable perspective, how are we to expect others to hear our own thoughts from a calmed and reasonable perspective.  Spending two years in a city populated with those that lived in stark contrast to my own personal beliefs, how could I expect tolerance on their part for my message if I was unwilling to listen with an open-mind their opinions.

Having an open-mind and willingness to listen is not the sign of sheep or lemming, but rather the sign of a thinker.  In a democracy, we should expect nothing less from our politicians and especially of each other than the ability to not only freely speak but debate the issues close to our own hearts.

So, stop taking potshots at me or others for the simple fact that we don’t share your opinions.  I’m not gonna force you to agree, nor will I force you to listen, but for crying out loud don’t make me feel like less of a person for the simple fact that I don’t agree with you.  Plus, now that we’re all adults lets step it up from Playground Debate Skills (Stupidface, doodoo head, and peabrain) and move on to the more mature (you silly man, addle-minded, rapscallion).



Sarte’s Airplane Hell
September 19, 2008, 5:34 am
Filed under: Ramblings | Tags: ,
10,000 feet up, not so much an exit as it is a life style change.

10,000 feet up, not so much an exit as it is a life style change.

Sarte’s play, No Exit, seems to be the perfect illustration of what plane ride can be.  Literally, up in the air, there are no exits.  The sign says exit, but how can exit be an exit if it leads to death.  Well, then, actually, it is an exit of sorts.  Anyway, if you haven’t read the play you should.  The themes in this play have quite considerably shaped my life.

This blog post has really formed itself out on this last business trip.  Flying home today, I found myself sitting(admittedly “husky” myself) to two very-overweight individuals that caused to me to sit in what I would refer to as a permanent tilt (I highly suggest it for those looking to cause back pain).  Two ladies in front of me chose the time we spent tooling around the runway getting ready for take-off to carry out a lively discussion of tube tying, hysterectomies, and (how these two were qualified to speak on this, I don’t wanna know) vasectomies.  Just to add flavor to the whole discussion, one of these women had the voice of a five year old girl.  For those of you that have five year, imagine her spelling out the pros and cons of a surgery on you-know-what to prevent you-know what.  If you’re feeling slightly uncomfortable reading this, you’ve experienced a fraction of what I felt.  Trapped, and due to FAA regulations, unable to flip on my iPod and float off to a happy place.  Finally, four kids under the age of two all sitting across from me within two rows.

Over the many trips that I’ve flown on this past year, I’ve found little routines to help me escape to this happy place I described earlier.  Three of these are a book, a portable dvd player, and an iPod.  You have these, you have everything.  Well, maybe an oxygen mask would be nice to pack as well.  Because when you think about it, when that person coughs next to you, there’s nothing hermetic about the way they’re covering their mouths.  So as that air cycles over and over again in through the closed circulation system which is your own little private petri dish, think about what juicy bugs are floating in the air your breathing.  You also may want to pack a tazer in case the fat guy next to you decides to use your shoulder as a pillow.  Knee pads might be nice as well to help you take on the guy next to you who decides to play king of the hill with your leg space.  Finally, I suggest you pack one last item to help you deal with plane flight.  A sense of humor.

In all things, a little dab of humor makes like a little more enjoyable.  On this last trip on the outgoing leg, two boys under five flew by themselves and amazingly acted like two five year olds do.  Well, actually after a recent trip to the Malt Shoppe in Utah, I see that the fart jokes, the shoving, and overall goofballisms aren’t limited to five year olds but can be applied to rugby players as well.  Anyway, a gentlemen sitting in front of these two boys lost his temper and turned around and threatened the boys to stop.  He proceeded to further threaten them that if they cried, he’d give them something to cry about.  I must confess, I felt bad not intervening, but at the moment I felt more observer than advocate.  I waited to see how the boys and this man reacted.  One of these brave little boys looked at the man and very proudly announced something about someone not being someones boss.  The man turned around and still looked pretty angry, when another woman reamed him.  I mean she tore him up.

Life is too short for people to be that guy.  Sarte points out in his play that people locked in a room can create their own private hell.  Visiting with family and friends on this last trip, it occurs to me that if I were locked with these people in a room for eternity we’d have a pretty good time and a good laugh.  I’ve been very lucky in these latest few chapters in my life to have been blessed with great familial relationships and deep friendships that make life sweeter.  Short your friends and family on your next plane trip, consider finding the humor in your sufferings, surroundings, and annoying neighbors.  Otherwise, you just may find yourself in some kind of airborne hell.



Why I watch West Wing reruns…
September 6, 2008, 7:35 am
Filed under: Life is Wierd, Ramble, Ramblings | Tags:
West Wing

West Wing

At some point during my high school curriculum we covered the medieval era and the subject of folk songs.  I believe there was another name for them, but in all you could label them as folk songs.  Essentially, without NBC, ABC, Fox, and CBS people relied on something different than a box of wires.  If they heard a story from Tivo, then it probably came from some peasant or blacksmith that didn’t much care for naming his offspring.  I digress, the point is that the peasantry would share these stories with one another at home or in the drinking houses of their time.  They did this, said my teacher, to forget about the dark times in which they lived and escape their reality.  Many times since that conversation, I think about how TV and movies are our version of these folk songs.  These are our escapes from our personal realities.

In that spirit, I thought I might share why my own reality needs a little escaping.  The West Wing in my opinion is one of the best series ever written for television.  Spawned as a play for the stage, and adapted for the small screen, Aaron Sorkin depicts a bit of unreality in which politically people get things done.  The writing quick and witty.  At this very moment, my DVD is paused in the middle of a West Wing scene.  I like escaping to this unreality because of a love I have for noble causes.  A group of people working for what they think is a true, noble cause.  Also, it seems that these characters find so much more meaning in what they do when I compare it to my marketing of packaged lines of code to the corporate masses.

My unfavored reality aside, another reason for watching this show came to mind as I watched the Sarah Palin speech at the RNC.  Some would say she did a great job of rattling the ol’ saber pointing out faults in the democratic party from stage props to religion(or lack thereof).  She got them with her “I don’t know about these guys” grins and winks.  Her Alaskan charm melted the hearts of the GOP, and they soon were cheering loud enough for the five people in the town over which she was mayor could hear.  I thought of the West Wing how worked hard to point out that on both sides of the aisle people were trying to get things done.

Looking at the Democrats, there really isn’t much to look at over there either.  This is no Bush-Kerry election, but in the end we all end up saying that we’re picking the lesser of two evils.  Plato once said that true leaders are the ones that only lead because they are forced to because there is no one else to lead (paraphrasing).  This contest is sexy, especially with the addition of Mayor of Alaska (or is it Governor).  We’ve got precedent setting on a racial and gender basis occurring on both sides.  We can stand proud in the knowledge that candidates on both sides are running when a short time earlier in the history of this country this wouldn’t happen.  But where are these Platonic (I think that works) leaders.  Where’s my Colin Powell?  He chose not to lead for his own personal reasons, but he declined.  Let’s get him.  Where’s the guys/gals that stand firm on issues that evolved through personal discovery and research.  Not one guy that walks a political tight rope and another that is floating on his hot air abstracts that vaguely resemble ideals.

The West WIng offers a truly fictional escape from this political reality to one where people still try and accomplish some good.  I acknowledge this is one of those three AM ramble sessions that I’m prone to writing.  But I can’t help but wonder how my own MTV generation and the current texting generation isn’t influencing the way the news media are disseminating the news.  Britney Spears and Paris Hilton’s recent police busts have served only to further dumb us down.

Once on a show, one character points out to the other the difference between Clark Kent and Superman.  “Superman is who he is…” he says, “Clark Kent is the way he views humanity.  Weak, feeble, and inept.”  If those traits that Superman portrays as Clark Kent are his reflected opinions of humanity.  Let’s consider the way the News Media wraps up truth and their reflected opinion of our humanity.  Their opinion is we care more for Brangelina’s 100th adopted baby, some poor girl’s pregnancy, and something that a movie star said whe he was drunk.

In all, I watch the West Wing because its an escape to a world where the reflected humanity is a little less about being entertained, but more about being informed.  Final thought…as a missionary I once reached for a cup to eat my cereal out of because of a lack of clean bowls and I was too lazy to wash them.  Another Elder stopped me, and washed a bowl and handed it to me.  He said, “Elder why settle for what will due when you can have what you need.”  Think about it.

Process that and your haircut.  Free dinner to the person who can figure out that last haircut line.



Family Reunion 911
June 30, 2008, 9:46 pm
Filed under: Dating, Ramblings | Tags: ,

matchingFamily Reunions are among the many rites of passage in this life.  Birth, the First Date, the First Kiss, your Graduation, and attending a reunion in the latter end of your twenties.  At this point, your old enough that the perspective you had picking your nose at the kids table is extremely different from the one you hold sitting among the myriad of ages spanning your family relatives in someone’s backyard.  In some ways, in the very extended family reunions, it can be the preview of the many disparate life-paths before you.  From cousins with kids, grandparents with grandchildren, professionals in all shapes, and marriages of all sizes.  You look at these, knowing more of family background than the casual observer, you have some idea what it takes to get there and you have the opportunity to ask if you want to get there.

Another thought, Family Reunions for single upper twenty-somethings and greater are a lot like being a 3rd world country hanging out at the UN.  A lot of people with a lot of experience, more than willing to give you all the advice and the counsel on how you should be running your country (your dating life) more effectively than you are now.  Now let’s not forget these countries own civil wars, diplomatic debacles (never get to use that word), and changes in identity.  Let’s forget the fact that your world is a whole lot different.  Where relationships can live and die based upon a text, blog post, or facebook wall message.  Let’s forget, switching metaphors, the finding a spouse is nothing like taking a trip to the batting cages and waiting for your pitch until it comes.

In truth, the advice is more a sign of affection in the form of an emotional nuggie that reminds us of Uncle Ted from Bobby’s World grabbing Bobby and tousling his hair with his knuckles.  These emotional nuggies are appreciated, because it shows that your family does care and love you, otherwise an absence of these could mean they could care less if you reproduce.  However let’s look at some of the repeated quotes and break ’em down like a fraction.

“Are you sure you’re trying hard enough?” –No, I’m actually not.  I need to spend more time doing background checks on girls not just that I know, but one’s that have the potential to be in my immediate vicinity in the coming week.  That way, knowing their likes and dislikes, I can come prepared with an arsenal of conversation topics that we both may find each other as fasciniating as possible.

“Aren’t you maybe being just a little to picky?” –True, marriage is nothing like the tattoo that once you wed it to your body, your stuck with what it has to say, looks like, or makes you feel.  And its removal can be a slow, arduous, and painful process.

“You ought to go back to the ‘Y’, and find yourself a girl there.”–Five years and several hundreds of gas and restaurant dollars spent, I think we’ve established that that diamond mine’s run out for me.

“Where are you looking, maybe you’re not looking in the right places.”–True, Russia, Vietnam, and others have flourishing mail-order-bride programs whose resources I have yet to tap.  I should look there for sure.

“Maybe you need to lower your standards a bit?”–You’re right, I should lower my standards and then at that very moment someone will pop up and suddenly fit my requirements.  Then, on our wedding night as we get on board the plane to our honeymoon destination, I’ll be sure to whisper in her ear, “Man, if I hadn’t lowered my standards, I never would’ve met you.”

All in all, I’m really not bitter, I just find the advice funny now and then.  I am looking forward to marriage and I am, for the record, looking.  I also very much look forward to the day that when I get married, I get endowed with all this dating advice from on high about the right way to date that I may impart on you sorry bunch of twenty-five and up somebodies out there.



Making Funny Faces
April 16, 2008, 5:57 pm
Filed under: Life is Wierd, Ramblings | Tags: ,

Our family has a whole host of stories that if you know us for any period of time we eventually tell to embarrass one another. One of my sister’s favorites to tell about me is about funny faces in the window. Now, one would assume from that brief reference that this could only be a story about someone making funny faces from one side of window to others present on the other side of the window. Not so.

At dinner I was usually placed opposite the window in our kitchen which became more of a mirror at night because of how dark it gets (yep, you guessed it) at night. One night, my narcissistic tendencies took over and I began making faces at myself. Well, as attractive as I may think I am, I also find myself very entertaining. So I proceeded to make funny faces at myself with unending delight. Oh, and I was 12 by the way. So, it’s not like I was a four year old being cute, I was a 12 year old just being plain vanilla vain (I love the alliteration). In the future, our family chores began to include: setting the table, getting the condiments, calling people to dinner, and my favorite, pulling the shades so I couldn’t stare at myself. That’s when I discovered the microwave also makes a decent reflective surface.

I share this story as intro to a line of thinking. I haven’t really had to stretch too hard to entertain myself and I’ve always enjoyed writing. Blogging has become an opportunity for me to indulge in both these habits. However, I’ve found my perspective change somewhat since I’ve discovered that I have a small audience. And that’s okay, I love it that people are reading my stuff. However, I do find myself writing just a tad differently.

I’m not as willing to just say anything I want as much as I used to for fear of offending someone. That says something to me and I think it says something about all of us. We each have these inner monologues that drone on in our head every day. A constant stream of thought were we find ourselves capturing, analyzing, evaluating, and eventually judging what goes on around us. And some of what we think is quite pleasant and worth sharing. Some of it, however, is rude, petty, and completely unfair. I’ll admit I haven’t always thought the nicest things about people and discovered how utterly wrong I am. A passionate person, I can mentally jump off the handle and get steamed over what seems like nothing a few days later.

Previously, I would take these emotions and let them color the pages of my blog to truly express my emotion. Now, I find myself restraining somewhat for fear of offending and having to consider the consequences. A reporter might call this self-censorship, I call it growing up. Four-year-olds are the ones that say the first thing that comes to mind, and even if its an insulting remark we let it go because they don’t know better. I’m in my late twenties (well, in the upper half at least), and I need to be smarter, more clever, and respectful of myself and y’all in the way I write. Just like a driver’s license, there’s a poetic license that comes with an equal amount of responsibility for the freedom we get to write our thoughts on digital paper.

I remark only because while staring at my reflection in this screen, I find myself making funny faces still. Writing has become a very fun outlet for me, but the thought that I have to censure myself a bit bothered me for a moment. Thinking about it, just means I need to be a better, more humorous, but respectful writer than I was when I first started writing.

If you are still reading, thanks. I appreciate the attention and it does great things for my self-esteem. Most of all, thanks for being my friend and thanks for being interested in my life. I’m privileged to have you around and I hope you enjoy the funny face I’m making at you right now.



So, I like Chick Flicks…
February 17, 2008, 7:09 am
Filed under: Dating, Life is Wierd, Ramble, Ramblings | Tags: , , , , ,

Alright, I’ll admit it in front of everyone on this who happens to read this, well at least all five of you. I like chick flicks, always have. You could say that it’s was an imminent byproduct of having three sisters, also the reason why I know some playground hand slapping games. As a result, there is something of a hopeless romantic in me. While making confessions, I even own some of these chick flicks. My favorite belongs to How to Lose a Guy in 10 days which replaced My Best Friend’s Wedding. Something about Guy and Gal getting together aside from cleverly written obstacles and comical timing, that meet cute is what keeps me going after the many dating frustrations and faux pas(btw, meet cute, a reference from The Holiday)

I have discovered, however, some key elements that aren’t true in these films. Romantically that set me back a couple of steps, and have found the need to learn the truth. This same truth I’ve hammered out the kinds through many first dates, and very few thirds.

Love at the Speed of Light: Contrary to what many a film will try and tell you, love doesn’t appear in the morning and graduate into marriage by the end of the night. In fact, love rarely happens in a day. Sometimes it takes two.

Perfection doesn’t come in one form: No matter how much we’d like to think that one person should have the sum of all the qualities we think we would like. The more important thing is being around that person that makes us feel like the sum total of the qualities we’d like to be (kind of cheesy, but I think it’s true.)

Love only comes to perfectly witty people: Some of the most awkward people lack the clever repartee inherent in the gilmore girls and His Girl Friday (The first reference, I claim three sisters, the second, good taste). Clever conversation doesn’t always happen in meet cutes. In fact, very rarely does it happen, and since the writer’s strike, I haven’t had a clever thing to say to a girl. People just have to mesh.

When is a kiss about to happen? The music will tell ya.: Unfortunately, I ordered the soundtrack to my life, but I’ve been informed that the music comes when we get to heaven and are watching our lives on the ultimate HD Plasma Screen in the sky. If you want to know when to kiss, look at the eyes. If they want to kiss, look at the eyes, if you feel like those two peepers are boring into the back of your skull, but in a good way, then you’re in like pez at a candy shop.

More to come…If you’ve got any, leave a comment, I’ll add it.