New Wallpaper
September 18, 2009, 5:12 am
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Marriage Virus
April 25, 2009, 7:47 am
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marriagebiohazardNot quite sure what’s going on, but lately I’m feeling like a character on Stephen King’s “The Stand.” Obscure reference, I know, but it’s actually quite fitting.  For those of you that don’t remember this little Made-For-TV nugget, with the likes of Rob Lowe, Gary Sinise, and Molly Ringwald, it essentially played out a scenario where the world dies of from a disease released at a US Army base.  The bulk of the world dies off save a few that are immune to the disease and are left to assemble their remains from the wreckage of human kind.  Lately, the disease appears to be marriage, and I don’t have a fever.

Now if you know anything of my medical history, you would think my name would be on that list of people likely to fall victim to some random disease.  Not so, in this case, I find myself singularly immune from this virus that spreads through lip contact, hand holding, and sweet nothings.  Seriously, folks, marriage is in the water and everyone seems to be drinking.  These last few months I’ve watched as friend after friend fall victim to this name that appears to be no respector of myself or my merry band of singletons.  This epidemic was further demonstrated to me as a friend and I looked over some of her pictures on facebook.  One of those group shots that only invite a tagging frenzy of friends past, found the bottom of the picture listing the very names of people who have fallen victim to cupid’s arrow.  Not a girl to set me up with, because they all be married.

Wouldn’t it be nice if marriage was kind of like the chicken pox.  You know, where you haven’t gotten it yet so your mom takes you over to a neighbor kids house to play who does have it.  That really should be the new singles program to solve the problem known as single.  When your friend gets engaged you need to jump in the car and make tracks to their house.  Hang with them a bit, and hopefully something will catch.  Just to be sure, I mean you don’t want to take chances with not catching this thing, you should eat off their plate or maybe drink out of their glass.  While they might get upset, you can always resolve their concern by reminding them that this is for a good cause.

However, you’re likely to have no such luck.  Your engaged crew seems to quarantine themselves in a bubble of love, plans, and puppy dog kisses.  Getting alone time with one of these is difficult, and thus the disease remains contained for the most part.

Sounds like a bitter post, but its not.  It’s just kind of funny.

Go Cougs Wallpaper
March 19, 2009, 6:26 pm
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For you might Cougar fans out there.


Matball: Holiday Edition Rules
December 8, 2008, 6:38 pm
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Matball Holiday

Matball Holiday

Holiday Edition Rules

  • Holiday Edition: Each team has to have a Santa at all times (Santa Hat Wearer).  This person on defense can get two outs for every single player he/she gets out.  On offense, this person can score 2 runs for every one run they score, but also counts as two hits if they get called out.  The hat may be passed from player to player, but can not be advanced past the closest base where the Santa got called out.
  • Holiday Edition: The team on offense, must have a present in play at all times.  The present must be carried by a runner and can be used to deflect balls thrown at the runner.  If the runner gets out, the next batter is expected to pick up the present as he/she runs to first base after their hit.  Runners are allowed to pass the present to each other to advance it or avoid having it return to the beginning.  However, if the present is dropped or the runner holding the present gets out.  The present is returned to home plate to be picked up by the next batter.
  • The game is played near identically to kickball in which one team is “batting” (despite the lack of bats) and the other team is “fielding”.
  • The pitcher is often of the team that is “batting”. This enables that the pitches are easy to kick.
  • A ball is put in play by hitting the ball with one’s fist like a bat into the field of play. That player must then run to first base.
  • In matball, there is no limit as to how many players can be on a base at the same time. This allows for players to “load” and run as a pack to decrease the likelihood of getting out.
  • After five outs teams switch sides. Typically a game will last with three innings.
  • Any ball hitting the ceiling will be considered an automatic out. Also, a ball kicked behind Home Plate is foul.
  • A ball that hits above the wooden trim is considered a home run for all runners. A ball that hits the back wall below the trim is considered a home run for just the batter. If a ball is hit into the opposite basketball hoop, that will count as a home run for all runners as well as 10 automatic runs.
  • Outs in matball occur when: the pop-fly is caught, the ball beats the runner to first base on the initial kick, a runner is touched by the ball while not on base, or runners do not tag-up after a pop-fly is caught. A ball thrown to the face will not count as an out.
  • When a player steps off the matt with both feet they must run except in cases of a pop fly where they must tag up.

Too Funny Not to Share, Blanket Cult
December 7, 2008, 9:05 am
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So, there are ideas that sometimes sound really good in the board room and maybe it still sounded good when people tried it out for the first time.  However, someone didn’t eat their wheaties the morning they made this commercial.

It’s all pretty good, but my favorite part is when they’re at the baseball game and cheering.   Nothing says family like being wrapped in druid like robes and singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.”

New Blackberry Wallpaper for BYU Cougars
October 13, 2008, 4:29 pm
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Heh Guys,

I realize I’m a giant dork, but I made this new wallpaper for my Blackberry with the BYU logo on it for anyone that wants it.  Not too complex, but its nice to have.

BYU Blackberry Wallpaper

BYU Blackberry Wallpaper

Facebook: Stalking Made Easy
August 15, 2008, 3:56 pm
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True Stalker

True Stalker

You’re a facebook stalker, I’m a facebook stalker, let’s just admit we’ve got a little stalker in all of us.  It used to be that you had to wait outside someones house for hours on end, snag their mail, and call their home in the middle of the night to have any clue what was going on in someones life without talking them.  Now, thanks to technology, there are very few secrets.  So, here’s some Facebook stalking confessions and I challenge you to share  yours:

High School Friends:  I can’t tell you the number of people I’ve added that I knew in some form or another in high school.  If I gave them a call, we’d have to sit through an hour of awkward conversation and probably would garner a few details.  With facebook, I can tell you everything my old friends have been doing in some form or another.  You can find out where they went to school what their job is now.  You can find out if they’ve been dating anyone seriously.  That secrets easy to find, just look through some of their photo albums.  If the same person of the opposite sex (most cases) appears in more than five pics, their likely sharing more than digital image space.  The same way you can find out who they still hang out with high school and who they don’t.  In particular, they’re not hanging out with you anymore because you’re not tagged in any of those photos.

Ex-Girlfriends: Girlfriends in my lifetime, I won’t act like there are a whole lot of them in my memories, but there are some.  It’s fun to peruse their pics and their posts to see what they’re up to now.  And there is no small comfort taken in finding they’ve married a guy that looks like he got beaten by an ugly stick.  You can find out if they’ve changed at all, or a warm feeling to see they’re married and have three kids already.  All good.  You can also find out how much an ex-girlfriend really hates you and won’t let you add her as a friend on facebook (that’ll be a post for another day).

Potential Girlfriends:  For work, I’m in the Competitive Intelligence business where I’m trained to examine behavior and other bits of information to make a determination about future events with regards to a particular company.  Applying that kind of tradecraft to dating makes life a little bit more interesting.  Case in point, you meet a girl, you want to know what she’s like, who her friends are, and if she’s as cool as she seemed to be last night when you got her number.  Almost like running your own background check.  I’m sure for all of you that open up your profile on a network, pretty much everyone can run this little check on you.  And let me tell you, some people they seem normal at night, but you’ve got to wonder about them in the day time.  Some pictures that you see or things that they write, well, it does add a touch of flavor to their personalities.

So, I confess, I’ve facebook stalked and from what I know I haven’t committed any felonies and I’m not going to be waiting outside anyone’s house.  In fact, most facebook stalking, mine included, occurs between the hours of 8 AM – 5 PM when you get bored and need your own version of a smoke break.  So, happy stalking.

Something New,
July 14, 2008, 1:26 am
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So my Buddy, Chris, and I started up a new blog. Smacked Stupid, seemed like an appropriate discussion topic focusing on all the stupid things that happen in the marketplace and government, and even to a point stupid people things. Just broad enough, that we can talk about almost anything. We’ve had some fun arguments in the past, and I thought it might be fun to capture them online. Let us know what you thiink. It’ll take us a while to get up to speed and be as funny as we can, but it’ll come.

Admitting it, not quite enough!
June 23, 2008, 9:26 pm
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So recently in conversation with a new friend we found a difference in personality.  This difference is kind of a base quality that I like to think I have and this individuals view of it as a weakness, well, it took me aback (love that word).  Further discussing their view of this characteristic as a weakness this person said to me defending themselves, that the fact they recognized this viewpoint was a flaw in their own personality was a step in the right direction.

My answer…no.  Not quite.  Not at all. Forget it.  My response…admitting that you have a problem is not a solution to the problem.  It’s not a first step, it’s not the first coin in the vending machine of solutions, it’s not the first fin flip in Nemo’s path home, it’s not the first flip in a gymnast’s routine.  Pick your metaphor, it doesn’t get you any closer to solving a problem.

You drink too much, that makes you an alcoholic.  Admitting you drink too much, well, you’re still drinking and you’ve removed denial, but plenty of people continue to drink and call themselves an alcoholic.  Murderers murder.  Infact, the moment that they kill someone they kind of recognize they have a problem.  So their recognition of the problem doesn’t quite change the situation a bit.

So, I’m just saying for all y’all out there who are of the opinion that admitting that you have a problem is the first step, well, you’re kind of wrong.  Admission, is good and great and all, but the first attempt at change though possibly met with failure, is the first step.  It’s that first tossed, unused cigarette pack.  It’s that first emptied bottle down the sink.  To make it personally, admitting that I need to go to the gym more hasn’t dropped a single pound for me.  In fact, it’s down pretty much nothing except for add to the daily list of things to feel guilty about.  Like enjoying the TV show Angel, singing show tunes in private, and thinking it might be nice to smack some people in the back of the head sometimes.  I know it’s a problem, but it’s a good first step right.

Early Flyers
May 19, 2008, 9:41 am
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My first taxi ride since S.America was supposed to take this place this morning around four. However, due to a intelligence issue(mine for believing them that when they said no problem it meant no problem. Their issue because the dumb stick came down a bit harder in grade school on their heads.) I was forced to take my car and put into the car kennel at the airport for a couple of days. Riding on the bus from the economy parking a whole inner monologue of things I noticed passed through my head while my ears were plugged into my ipod shuffle and the notorious mc hammer sang on. First, no one looks in the same direction. Its as if we all have this space we call like seats in a car or the greatland rush. But once you’ve flagged a spot its yours and you’re perfectly justified giving someone an irritated look if they glance in your spot.

Looking around I notice that none of the guys below 35 fail to have that tough guy grimace on their faces. Why do we do it? Maybe we’re trying to say, heh, I may be taking the bus but that’s just because our courtesy driver K. Getu needs the fare. Otherwise I’d drive this behometh my self.

I asked myself shortly after that thought if the guy and gal next to me were a couple or son and mom. I finally settled on the paternal relationship due to thigh high shorts junior was sporting. I would have said something but was too busy 2 legitting to quit it. Ya I’m cool.

The security line held stream of consciousness potential when I realized that a kid my age in a suit was looking to take the spot in line open before I got there. I showed the suit what indiana j would do and whipped in before him.

One final thought from the bus a couple a paragraphs ago. Couples should only be allowed to match over the age of 60. By then, with the eyesight going it’d be easier to spot dressed like you than a sea of fuzzy faces. The younger generations just look creepy and Stepford-like. Matching top, matching pants, and matching dumb look on their faces

Ps I’m writing this on my bb at fourish in the morning with a goose egg for the number of hours of sleep. So sorry for the harshness. I will say though K. Getu earned his fare by keeping the bus warm. Forget bus drivers, only courtesy drivers for me.