All My Ex’s Add Perspective
March 17, 2009, 4:34 am
Filed under: Dating, Life is Wierd | Tags: , ,

The last few months have brought a lot of reflection to my life as I survey the pocked marked wreckage that has been my dating career.  There’s been a whole lot of stuff that has gone on in actual relationships, perceived ones, and just the brief dates I’ve been on.  Cruising facebook has brought back some of these memories when I look over the different girls that I’ve dated, taken out, and felt the cool slap of rejection from.

Surprisingly, not one of them has found themselves living in shambles since I left.  In truth, most of them are doing quite well.  Not that I would want any misfortune for them.  Well, if they grew an extra eye or even a small wart, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.  Well…I guess that does seem a bit petty.  The most revealing is the quality of the relationship that I now hold with some of them or lack thereof in some cases.  99% of these have willingly added me as a friend on facebook which facilitates my stalking…um…er… checking up on them to see how they are.  That 1%, well, she’s still pretty ticked at me for what she felt was an emotional reversal that gave her the equivalent of dating whiplash.  Before I couldn’t understand, but now I can appreciate it… The perspective I’ve found changes with time.

Timing is the most important thing in life.  Good timing is the determining factor in whether you are the one person in the world who has ever really stepped and slipped on a banana peel.  Timing is the difference between getting hit by a car on a date and simply crossing your typical cross walk.  Timing is the difference between meeting a girl deep in a relationship or meeting her when she’s primed and ready.  For all of these, there’s no watch that you can wear on your wrist or shove in your pocket.  No timepiece that you can periodically pull out to see if you’re on schedule.  No alarm you can set so that to alert you its the very moment that  you should make your move when in a movie the music would be playing, your audience would be anticipating, and you’re sitting next to that girl that will change everything. Nada.

My determination…this all proves the accuracy of a time-tested quote, “Success is when preparation meets opportunity.”  So, taking and paraphrasing a line from Alma, “Whatcha doin’ now?”  What am I doing now to pull myself together for the very moment that she appears.  Am I my best self.  Do I know what it would take to get there?  The last thing, and this is the thing that I’ll close this post with and thus this tangent away from my attempt at a clever headline, is to be ready.  Am I ready for a relationship.  I find that as I look at my friends and ex-girlfriends with families and kids of their own.  I ask, am I ready for those things.  You don’t want to find yourself in the middle of a Talking Heads song wondering what happened to you.  If you’re blessed to enough to have those things: a spouse, kids, and a home (maybe a dog or a wheezy gerbil), you better darn well know how you got there. 

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Matball: Holiday Edition Rules
December 8, 2008, 6:38 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,
Matball Holiday

Matball Holiday

Holiday Edition Rules

  • Holiday Edition: Each team has to have a Santa at all times (Santa Hat Wearer).  This person on defense can get two outs for every single player he/she gets out.  On offense, this person can score 2 runs for every one run they score, but also counts as two hits if they get called out.  The hat may be passed from player to player, but can not be advanced past the closest base where the Santa got called out.
  • Holiday Edition: The team on offense, must have a present in play at all times.  The present must be carried by a runner and can be used to deflect balls thrown at the runner.  If the runner gets out, the next batter is expected to pick up the present as he/she runs to first base after their hit.  Runners are allowed to pass the present to each other to advance it or avoid having it return to the beginning.  However, if the present is dropped or the runner holding the present gets out.  The present is returned to home plate to be picked up by the next batter.
  • The game is played near identically to kickball in which one team is “batting” (despite the lack of bats) and the other team is “fielding”.
  • The pitcher is often of the team that is “batting”. This enables that the pitches are easy to kick.
  • A ball is put in play by hitting the ball with one’s fist like a bat into the field of play. That player must then run to first base.
  • In matball, there is no limit as to how many players can be on a base at the same time. This allows for players to “load” and run as a pack to decrease the likelihood of getting out.
  • After five outs teams switch sides. Typically a game will last with three innings.
  • Any ball hitting the ceiling will be considered an automatic out. Also, a ball kicked behind Home Plate is foul.
  • A ball that hits above the wooden trim is considered a home run for all runners. A ball that hits the back wall below the trim is considered a home run for just the batter. If a ball is hit into the opposite basketball hoop, that will count as a home run for all runners as well as 10 automatic runs.
  • Outs in matball occur when: the pop-fly is caught, the ball beats the runner to first base on the initial kick, a runner is touched by the ball while not on base, or runners do not tag-up after a pop-fly is caught. A ball thrown to the face will not count as an out.
  • When a player steps off the matt with both feet they must run except in cases of a pop fly where they must tag up.



Too Funny Not to Share, Blanket Cult
December 7, 2008, 9:05 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

So, there are ideas that sometimes sound really good in the board room and maybe it still sounded good when people tried it out for the first time.  However, someone didn’t eat their wheaties the morning they made this commercial.

It’s all pretty good, but my favorite part is when they’re at the baseball game and cheering.   Nothing says family like being wrapped in druid like robes and singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.”



Y’All Should Move
November 5, 2008, 11:12 pm
Filed under: Ramblings | Tags: ,
Get Goin'!

Get Goin

Ladies and Gents, the votes are in and we woke up this morning with a new President-elect.  For better or for worse, he’s who we’ve got.  I won’t say at the moment who I voted for or why I voted the way I did.  However, I will say, I’ve heard a whole lot of Repubs threatening to move to all sorts of places because of the would-be socialist agenda of our President-elect.  When I’ve asked for examples, universally, people have named universal health care as an example.  Just a couple thoughts to keep in mind.

Go ahead and…

Move to Canada, it’s not like they don’t have a socialist system in place for Health care, the very one that you find so unappealing.  They’ve got such a stable government that supports a conservative agenda like the one the Repubs profess to believe, right?

Move to Japan, they’ve got the best sushi around.  And their education system is top notch, so you should hit that up.  Oops, they’ve got universal health care

Move to England, they’ve got a completely different system of government that may appeal to you more.  Pal around with Prince Harry, nice enough guy.  They do have that universal-like health care system, so you’ll have to figure out how to get around that.  But you know, they’ve never been known for great dental work so what’s the difference.

Move to Mexico, they’ve got the best Taco’s in the world.  If you don’t try Horchata or a bowl of Mole, you haven’t really lived.  Just make sure you don’t get sick, because they’ve got themselves a goal for Universal Health care by 2011.

Uh, I’m really trying to find a place for you all that want to escape the Swath of Socialism in government as its been put.  However, every place I wikipedia seems to indicate the major countries of the world seem to have adopted a Universal Health care system.  So, if that’s your big concern, I don’t quite know what to tell you.  However, if you got the cash, you can take the Cosmonaut express up to space.  And I know for a fact that there isn’t any Universal Health care or socialist agenda in the International Space Station.  However, if Boris is up there with you, he may tell you all about his mother country’s Universal Health care.

All I’m saying is that for all of you that fear socialist agendas, like Universal Health care, for worse or for better, most countries have already adopted them.  Personally, I don’t want a universal health care system, but the one we’ve got seems to be pretty unique in the first place.  So go ahead and move if you don’t like it here, but all I can say is I tried to help.  Looked all over, where I could find a standard of living equivalent to here.

I wish you the best of luck and I can recommend the Backpacks at http://www.REI.com, they’re the best!

If you don’t like it, let’s get Mitt’s 2012 campaign going, I’m there with ya!



New Blackberry Wallpaper for BYU Cougars
October 13, 2008, 4:29 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Heh Guys,

I realize I’m a giant dork, but I made this new wallpaper for my Blackberry with the BYU logo on it for anyone that wants it.  Not too complex, but its nice to have.

BYU Blackberry Wallpaper

BYU Blackberry Wallpaper



I Hate It When People Can’t Hold Their Politics
October 3, 2008, 3:23 am
Filed under: Politics, Ramblings | Tags: ,
Im Your Contrasting Opinion

I'm Your Contrasting Opinion

Let’s get it on!  This is the second time in the last eight years where I have found myself supporting a candidate opposite of my own party.  This is the second time in two years that I have found myself underwhelmed by the mediocrity of debate and discussion of core topics so important to America.  This is the second time that members of my own party and let alone my own faith have shied away from debate and went straight to making it personal.

Politics stems back to the Greeks and the senate of Rome.  The philosophers of these times enjoyed the exploration of thought and debate.  For in the debate and the discussion, only then could one truly discover his/her opinions.  The nastiness of the debate between candidates has really soured my opinion of both individuals.  Furthermore, the greater nastiness of one candidate has truly soured me to this individual overall.  What truly saddens me is the inability of some of peers to refrain from practicing the very same nastiness and making personal the debate.

For those who choose to make it personal, they’re taking the easy way out in the debate.  To call names or make personal references to the validity or the intelligence of believing one way or another shows the narrow thinking of the accusatory individual.  If we are unable to discuss our thoughts and opinions from a calm and reasonable perspective, how are we to expect others to hear our own thoughts from a calmed and reasonable perspective.  Spending two years in a city populated with those that lived in stark contrast to my own personal beliefs, how could I expect tolerance on their part for my message if I was unwilling to listen with an open-mind their opinions.

Having an open-mind and willingness to listen is not the sign of sheep or lemming, but rather the sign of a thinker.  In a democracy, we should expect nothing less from our politicians and especially of each other than the ability to not only freely speak but debate the issues close to our own hearts.

So, stop taking potshots at me or others for the simple fact that we don’t share your opinions.  I’m not gonna force you to agree, nor will I force you to listen, but for crying out loud don’t make me feel like less of a person for the simple fact that I don’t agree with you.  Plus, now that we’re all adults lets step it up from Playground Debate Skills (Stupidface, doodoo head, and peabrain) and move on to the more mature (you silly man, addle-minded, rapscallion).



Sarte’s Airplane Hell
September 19, 2008, 5:34 am
Filed under: Ramblings | Tags: ,
10,000 feet up, not so much an exit as it is a life style change.

10,000 feet up, not so much an exit as it is a life style change.

Sarte’s play, No Exit, seems to be the perfect illustration of what plane ride can be.  Literally, up in the air, there are no exits.  The sign says exit, but how can exit be an exit if it leads to death.  Well, then, actually, it is an exit of sorts.  Anyway, if you haven’t read the play you should.  The themes in this play have quite considerably shaped my life.

This blog post has really formed itself out on this last business trip.  Flying home today, I found myself sitting(admittedly “husky” myself) to two very-overweight individuals that caused to me to sit in what I would refer to as a permanent tilt (I highly suggest it for those looking to cause back pain).  Two ladies in front of me chose the time we spent tooling around the runway getting ready for take-off to carry out a lively discussion of tube tying, hysterectomies, and (how these two were qualified to speak on this, I don’t wanna know) vasectomies.  Just to add flavor to the whole discussion, one of these women had the voice of a five year old girl.  For those of you that have five year, imagine her spelling out the pros and cons of a surgery on you-know-what to prevent you-know what.  If you’re feeling slightly uncomfortable reading this, you’ve experienced a fraction of what I felt.  Trapped, and due to FAA regulations, unable to flip on my iPod and float off to a happy place.  Finally, four kids under the age of two all sitting across from me within two rows.

Over the many trips that I’ve flown on this past year, I’ve found little routines to help me escape to this happy place I described earlier.  Three of these are a book, a portable dvd player, and an iPod.  You have these, you have everything.  Well, maybe an oxygen mask would be nice to pack as well.  Because when you think about it, when that person coughs next to you, there’s nothing hermetic about the way they’re covering their mouths.  So as that air cycles over and over again in through the closed circulation system which is your own little private petri dish, think about what juicy bugs are floating in the air your breathing.  You also may want to pack a tazer in case the fat guy next to you decides to use your shoulder as a pillow.  Knee pads might be nice as well to help you take on the guy next to you who decides to play king of the hill with your leg space.  Finally, I suggest you pack one last item to help you deal with plane flight.  A sense of humor.

In all things, a little dab of humor makes like a little more enjoyable.  On this last trip on the outgoing leg, two boys under five flew by themselves and amazingly acted like two five year olds do.  Well, actually after a recent trip to the Malt Shoppe in Utah, I see that the fart jokes, the shoving, and overall goofballisms aren’t limited to five year olds but can be applied to rugby players as well.  Anyway, a gentlemen sitting in front of these two boys lost his temper and turned around and threatened the boys to stop.  He proceeded to further threaten them that if they cried, he’d give them something to cry about.  I must confess, I felt bad not intervening, but at the moment I felt more observer than advocate.  I waited to see how the boys and this man reacted.  One of these brave little boys looked at the man and very proudly announced something about someone not being someones boss.  The man turned around and still looked pretty angry, when another woman reamed him.  I mean she tore him up.

Life is too short for people to be that guy.  Sarte points out in his play that people locked in a room can create their own private hell.  Visiting with family and friends on this last trip, it occurs to me that if I were locked with these people in a room for eternity we’d have a pretty good time and a good laugh.  I’ve been very lucky in these latest few chapters in my life to have been blessed with great familial relationships and deep friendships that make life sweeter.  Short your friends and family on your next plane trip, consider finding the humor in your sufferings, surroundings, and annoying neighbors.  Otherwise, you just may find yourself in some kind of airborne hell.