You Should Give Up
January 17, 2008, 7:21 am
Filed under: Dating, Life is Wierd, Ramble, Ramblings | Tags:

That’s right you heard it here first.  I think you should give up.  Seriously, let’s hop in the car together and let’s go to MJ Designs and buy some white fabric.  Then we can sit and commiserate as we sew the flag together, and talk about how horrible our dating lives are.  Then we should go pick up a stick from Home Depot.  It wouldn’t be too much money, and then while we’re figuring out how to attach our anti-dating banner to this rod of despair we can keep talking about all the people we haven’t dated, all the people we haven’t kissed, and all the sweet dating/romantic ideas we never got to use.  Let’s keep talking about how everyone else always gets the object(s) of your affection, while we busily find a place from which we can proudly display our flag of surrender.  And by the time we all get done.  You’ll notice a great change has occurred within us.  Oh yes, a huge change.  You’ll notice that the hands on your watch have moved.  It’s change alright, but if we’re talking about you and me.  Well, I don’t know, let’s take stock of where we are.  Hmm…still single…yep…still lonely…yeppers still…have we succeeded in anything…YES!  We’ve kept the economy from going into recession by increasing our consumer spending.  Go us!

 So, I’m making fun of you and making fun of myself a bit.  See, everyday we encounter reasons to give up on dating and many of us have announced it to the world.  My metaphor seemed silly (I love metaphors, love ’em so much I could marry them, then I wouldn’t be single anymore), but its just as funny how much effort people go to announce that they’re giving up dating as making a flag to do the same thing.

People are not inherently dumb.  Dumb just happens to people.  You never know when it’ll hit you, but dumb happens.  Dumb happened to me the other night when I stuck my foot in my mouth showing someone that I hadn’t taken the time to learn their name.  Dumb happens when you stay up all night long to beat a friend’s COD4 score and you almost die from falling asleep at the wheel the next day.  Most of all, dumb happens in relationships.  Hormones have side affects that don’t come advertised on the side of the box, well, actually it does.  It’s just that it’s in the fine print next to where they’re made.  It says, “Engaging in romantic thought or the pursuit thereof can cause dumbness.  This dumbness may manifest itself in those around you, particularly those that for whom your showing interest.”  I promise that’s where it is, if you don’t believe me.  Well, consult an ophthalmologist.

The long and the short (I’d really like to know where that came from) of it is that no matter how hard we try dumb will happen in dating.  I once tried to break up with a girl, but felt so guilty about it at the same time that I kept apologizing and then made the classic breaking up promises.  See apparently when you break up with someone, you gain some kind of psychic ability to tell their future for them.  Here some classics, “You’ll find a person who can appreciate you.” or “I’m sure the next person will be the right one for you.”  or my favorite “You’re amazing.  Everything about you.  I just don’t deserve you.”  On that last one, I’ve gotten it before and I was almost ready to say, well, if you didn’t deserve it…can I get a refund.  I mean I was not pleased with the level of service I received.  Oh well.

If you’re still reading this, I congratulate you on your stamina.  Take a breath with me…in…out.  Ok, anyway, the point is in life you’ll get hit with dumb no matter what.  In dating, you’ll especially get hit with dumb like a bird letting loose while in flight with a little reminder of who owns the friendly skies.  The beautiful thing is we  have a choice of how we approach things.  We can say, well, we’ll never find someone.  Or.  We can say, well, I’m just gonna come back to the same place…or…We can realize that no one really cares if we say we’re going to give up.  We don’t need to announce it, nor do we need to wallow in it.  Giving up, isn’t the right way to approach things.  The right way to go,  is to get comfortable with how we’ve been dealt with life.  Acceptance of that leads to the ability to live with hope.  I think that may be the hardest thing.

Hope can choke us if we let it.  If we try so hard to make hope all that we live on with respect to terrestrial matters, we’ll always find disappointment.  However, if we seek out the best things like the good book says we’ll find the best gifts.  We don’t live on dreams, but we live with our dreams.  That way if life disappoints, we don’t go into a depression cycle, we just adjust course and tack a bit.  Always be ready to adjust.

I’m not sure if I’ve made any sense, but bed calls to me.