Family Reunion 911
June 30, 2008, 9:46 pm
Filed under: Dating, Ramblings | Tags: ,

matchingFamily Reunions are among the many rites of passage in this life.  Birth, the First Date, the First Kiss, your Graduation, and attending a reunion in the latter end of your twenties.  At this point, your old enough that the perspective you had picking your nose at the kids table is extremely different from the one you hold sitting among the myriad of ages spanning your family relatives in someone’s backyard.  In some ways, in the very extended family reunions, it can be the preview of the many disparate life-paths before you.  From cousins with kids, grandparents with grandchildren, professionals in all shapes, and marriages of all sizes.  You look at these, knowing more of family background than the casual observer, you have some idea what it takes to get there and you have the opportunity to ask if you want to get there.

Another thought, Family Reunions for single upper twenty-somethings and greater are a lot like being a 3rd world country hanging out at the UN.  A lot of people with a lot of experience, more than willing to give you all the advice and the counsel on how you should be running your country (your dating life) more effectively than you are now.  Now let’s not forget these countries own civil wars, diplomatic debacles (never get to use that word), and changes in identity.  Let’s forget the fact that your world is a whole lot different.  Where relationships can live and die based upon a text, blog post, or facebook wall message.  Let’s forget, switching metaphors, the finding a spouse is nothing like taking a trip to the batting cages and waiting for your pitch until it comes.

In truth, the advice is more a sign of affection in the form of an emotional nuggie that reminds us of Uncle Ted from Bobby’s World grabbing Bobby and tousling his hair with his knuckles.  These emotional nuggies are appreciated, because it shows that your family does care and love you, otherwise an absence of these could mean they could care less if you reproduce.  However let’s look at some of the repeated quotes and break ’em down like a fraction.

“Are you sure you’re trying hard enough?” –No, I’m actually not.  I need to spend more time doing background checks on girls not just that I know, but one’s that have the potential to be in my immediate vicinity in the coming week.  That way, knowing their likes and dislikes, I can come prepared with an arsenal of conversation topics that we both may find each other as fasciniating as possible.

“Aren’t you maybe being just a little to picky?” –True, marriage is nothing like the tattoo that once you wed it to your body, your stuck with what it has to say, looks like, or makes you feel.  And its removal can be a slow, arduous, and painful process.

“You ought to go back to the ‘Y’, and find yourself a girl there.”–Five years and several hundreds of gas and restaurant dollars spent, I think we’ve established that that diamond mine’s run out for me.

“Where are you looking, maybe you’re not looking in the right places.”–True, Russia, Vietnam, and others have flourishing mail-order-bride programs whose resources I have yet to tap.  I should look there for sure.

“Maybe you need to lower your standards a bit?”–You’re right, I should lower my standards and then at that very moment someone will pop up and suddenly fit my requirements.  Then, on our wedding night as we get on board the plane to our honeymoon destination, I’ll be sure to whisper in her ear, “Man, if I hadn’t lowered my standards, I never would’ve met you.”

All in all, I’m really not bitter, I just find the advice funny now and then.  I am looking forward to marriage and I am, for the record, looking.  I also very much look forward to the day that when I get married, I get endowed with all this dating advice from on high about the right way to date that I may impart on you sorry bunch of twenty-five and up somebodies out there.