All My Ex’s Add Perspective
March 17, 2009, 4:34 am
Filed under: Dating, Life is Wierd | Tags: , ,

The last few months have brought a lot of reflection to my life as I survey the pocked marked wreckage that has been my dating career.  There’s been a whole lot of stuff that has gone on in actual relationships, perceived ones, and just the brief dates I’ve been on.  Cruising facebook has brought back some of these memories when I look over the different girls that I’ve dated, taken out, and felt the cool slap of rejection from.

Surprisingly, not one of them has found themselves living in shambles since I left.  In truth, most of them are doing quite well.  Not that I would want any misfortune for them.  Well, if they grew an extra eye or even a small wart, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.  Well…I guess that does seem a bit petty.  The most revealing is the quality of the relationship that I now hold with some of them or lack thereof in some cases.  99% of these have willingly added me as a friend on facebook which facilitates my stalking…um…er… checking up on them to see how they are.  That 1%, well, she’s still pretty ticked at me for what she felt was an emotional reversal that gave her the equivalent of dating whiplash.  Before I couldn’t understand, but now I can appreciate it… The perspective I’ve found changes with time.

Timing is the most important thing in life.  Good timing is the determining factor in whether you are the one person in the world who has ever really stepped and slipped on a banana peel.  Timing is the difference between getting hit by a car on a date and simply crossing your typical cross walk.  Timing is the difference between meeting a girl deep in a relationship or meeting her when she’s primed and ready.  For all of these, there’s no watch that you can wear on your wrist or shove in your pocket.  No timepiece that you can periodically pull out to see if you’re on schedule.  No alarm you can set so that to alert you its the very moment that  you should make your move when in a movie the music would be playing, your audience would be anticipating, and you’re sitting next to that girl that will change everything. Nada.

My determination…this all proves the accuracy of a time-tested quote, “Success is when preparation meets opportunity.”  So, taking and paraphrasing a line from Alma, “Whatcha doin’ now?”  What am I doing now to pull myself together for the very moment that she appears.  Am I my best self.  Do I know what it would take to get there?  The last thing, and this is the thing that I’ll close this post with and thus this tangent away from my attempt at a clever headline, is to be ready.  Am I ready for a relationship.  I find that as I look at my friends and ex-girlfriends with families and kids of their own.  I ask, am I ready for those things.  You don’t want to find yourself in the middle of a Talking Heads song wondering what happened to you.  If you’re blessed to enough to have those things: a spouse, kids, and a home (maybe a dog or a wheezy gerbil), you better darn well know how you got there.